I Am Being Tested

I believe in God and I have very strong faith. I love inspirational quotes, books and have attended many motivational seminars. I thought I had life my figured out until I got the news of my ALS diagnosis on January 31, 2013. My world was turned upside down and I thought I would never be able to find joy again. It is easy to believe in something if everything seems right in our own world.

Suddenly everything seemed wrong. Mark and I prayed like crazy along with everyone else that knew about my diagnosis. You see, prior to my shitty diagnosis, I kept pushing those positive quotes in people’s faces thinking, “Why are people so negative all of the time?” Can’t some of my negative friends and family members see that life is beautiful and that good is all around us if we look for it?

Then I realized that when everything in my life seemed wonderful it was easy to believe in God and believe in the words attached to those beautiful quotes. I started asking myself why would I save thousand of quotes if I only believed in them when life was good and not when life was difficult.

Finally, I came to the realization that it is up to me to find joy deep within myself. Unfortunately, no one can do it for me. As soon as I started to live in the “now” and recognize all of the beauty around me, I started to see spurts of joy throughout my day. Mark and I started to realize that miracles were happening all around us, we just weren’t looking for them or noticing.

Today my heart is full of joy most moments of every day and I am thankful I am not in the darkness of my January 31st diagnosis days.

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2 thoughts on “I Am Being Tested

  1. Enjoyed reading this post. WE all know that it is good to live in the now, but seldom are able to do it. But we can keep trying. We all have so much to be thankful for.
    Shari

  2. Sweet Rosemary,
    You are an inspiration to us all. To live in the “now” and to “recognize the beauty all around” us is what we all should be doing everyday. Now thanks to YOU, I will be looking for the joy, beauty, and miracles in my life too. Thank for the reminder and hope to see you soon dear cousin. Love, Peg

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