Last week we went to a wedding and after the reception the bride’s brother came up to Mark and I to share a special story about his best friend.
Eric met Eddie two years ago and they became very close. After about a year of knowing one another, Eddie finally told Eric his secret. He told him he was gay. Eric was surprised and said, “Why didn’t you share this earlier in our friendship?” His friend said, “Because I didn’t want our friendship to change.”
Eddie told Eric that every day for the last year he prayed that God make him straight, but it didn’t help. Eddie even contemplated marrying a woman thinking it would help. His friend had been struggling with this for years and finally had the guts to tell Eric, someone he trusted.
Eric was so sad, like Mark and I about Corey, that Eddie didn’t know how much he loved him and being gay didn’t change that. Since Eddie’s confession, Eric has been trying to help his friend accept who he is. Eric shared some of my blog posts about Corey and how our friends and family have accepted him and Eric told us that Eddie’s mom is a very loving mother and she too is trying to understand her son.
I am so glad Eric shared Eddie’s story with Mark and I that night, but he wasn’t alone. Three other friends have since shared similar stories about a friend or relative struggling to accept themselves for who they are for being gay and hoping for love and acceptance from the people they love.
Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night’s sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too.”
Mark and I got an email from Corey last week that contained this quote and a note that made me think about Eric’s friend Eddie.
Mom and Dad,
I came across this quote today and realized that, because of the two of you, I’ve never had to feel this way. You’ve always made it very clear that somebody somewhere loves me, no matter what.
I miss you guys.