As I laid in bed this morning thinking about my lifeless arms and hands and how I have mentally adjusted to not being able to use them, I couldn’t help but think that the feeling of being loved has helped me adjust. Love has been the most important factor in helping me get through my life-changing struggles. And the more I think about some of the struggles from my past the more I realize that love has pulled me through those, as well.
As I laid awake thinking about the reality of what I can and can’t do with my arms and hands it sort of shocks me. This may sound silly and I shouldn’t be shocked because I’ve lived with my arms and hands every day of my life, but because of the love that surrounds me I don’t get to see and feel the true frustration that should go along with this great loss.
Maybe the reason I feel so at peace with my limitations is because of the way Mark and I have divided up our responsibilities as we went through our married life. Mark took responsibility for most of the outdoor chores, such as taking care of the cars, the lawn and the snow shoveling and I took responsibility for the indoor chores like cleaning, washing clothes and grocery shopping.
I overheard Mark telling my brother-in-law Bruce about how he always worried about our cars breaking down especially if we were on a trip or if our kids were driving somewhere after dark. But I never worried about car troubles because I knew Mark had it handled.
Maybe the reason I am not so worried about losing control of my arms and hands is because I have Mark and so many others to help me.