I Lost My Job

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I feel like I am possessed with many personalities since having this disease and yesterday I was Frustrated Rosemary.

Last night Corey brought Bevan to Muskegon to meet our family for the first time and to meet Harrison. It also happened to be Bevan’s birthday so we had a lot to celebrate. After they arrived and everyone was getting comfortable I was getting frustrated because my speech is declining and I can’t entertain like I used to. It was always my job to take charge of the room and our guests and to help make them feel comfortable. I always made sure music was playing in the background to help set the mood in the room. I loved engaging in conversations that let our guests have an opportunity to tell their story so we could learn more about them. But because I am becoming speechless and helpless I can no longer run the show and it makes me mad. My family does a beautiful job entertaining but last night I just wanted my old job back.

I wanted to be toasting with everyone and crying as I gave a sentimental speech welcoming Bevan to our home. I miss making sure the lights are turned down low and there are candles burning on the table to give a perfect glow to our dining room even if we are having pizza on paper plates. I miss making sure everyone has had enough to eat and drink and I even miss clearing the table so the beautiful gluten free birthday cupcakes Kelly ordered special for Bevan could shine bright as we sang “Happy Birthday.”

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But yesterday was a weepy day for me where I started off my morning crying with my friends Patti, Colleen, Mary and Maria and I ended my night crying in our bedroom with Mark because it’s not my job any more.

Today is already a better day for me so I will concentrate on the jobs I can do and just enjoy being with my family.

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6 thoughts on “I Lost My Job

  1. You were always the best listener I ever met that has not changed. I always loved the way you made everyone feel comfortable and welcome. You would always pick out the new person in the group and make them feel welcome I admire you so much. Pray for you and mark every day love you all

  2. I think of you often since you post your diagnosis. I’m truly amazed by your spirit and grace through this unexpected chapter you and your family are taking hold of. Your letters mean so much to me as a daughter, mom and grand mother that it’s all so hard to take hold of at times, you are amazing. As many have said previously, you are such an inspiration to all of us. You were amazing during our school years, friendly to everyone no matter what and you are still that wonderful amazing person in and out. You seem so strong even in your weaker moments, just know you have so many family and friends who are praying for you. Keep up the good work, God isn’t done with you yet….we love you Rosemary!

  3. You are a hero and an inspiration. Terry Nolan has been sharing your posts with us. You have inspired me to try harder and do better for my husband who is battling stage 4 cancer. Thank you for continuing to share your journey with us all. I pray for you each day, hoping for good things for you!

  4. You’re allowed a couple sad days here and there…. but always know that after all the years of entertaining and making everyone smile, no one will soon forget what an awesome “Hostess” you have always been!
    Love you
    Teresa

  5. Personally I don’t know how you do it……..Your strength astounds me, as does your candor. You’re an amazing lady who is an inspiration to so many of us who read your Blog daily. It is my food for thought, much like WWJD? Remember that acronym? WWRD? Is often what I think when I am being challenged. You have not taken this disease laying down! Not one time, you’re always thinking about wonderful things, and you are so eloquent in when you write about it. And if you didn’t have a hiccup every now and then I would truly wonder if you were human. I absolutely adore you and I pray for you daily. Keep up the great job Rosemary……..Hugs girlie.

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