For the last two weeks I’ve been really sick with a respiratory bug and at one point I thought I was going to die. The first night I was sick I saw Mark sitting in a chair next to our bed with his head bent down praying. My breathing was so labored he wasn’t sure I would make it through the night. During that time I asked God to take me to a place that had no more suffering and sadness, to the place he took Liz and Maryanne a short while ago. Yes, at my weakest moment I wanted to die.
Gratefully I am feeling so much better but during those painful two weeks I thought about one of Richard Rohr’s daily meditations. In his April 13th meditation he wrote “You come to God not by being strong but by being weak.” At my weakest moment I couldn’t find the logic behind this statement but today I can.