Last Week’s News

After the Supreme Court’s same-sex marriage ruling last week Corey wrote a post on his blog about what it was like to grow up gay and it made me feel the same overwhelming sense of sadness that I felt five and a half years ago when he first told us. I felt so sad because he thought that he needed to keep this secret to himself for most of his life for fear that no one would understand. I’m so glad he’s happy now but I still wish no child ever had to feel the way that Corey did.

Corey

This morning in a place where laws are made a handful of people in robes decided that men can marry men and women can marry women in every single part of this big and beautiful country that I live in and my Facebook and Instagram and Twitter feeds exploded with rainbow-colored messages of hope and love and pride and I was happy and I liked a lot of things and I favorited a lot of things and as I got under the covers tonight in the guest bedroom of my parents’ house in the small town that I grew up in I thought about how, for a great long time starting when I was very young, I was at war with myself because I knew that I was different and I didn’t know anyone else who was the same kind of different and I didn’t want to be different in this way and so I hid it for years and years and years and then one day too many years down the road I decided that I couldn’t hide it anymore and I told someone and then I told another someone and another and another and another and soon every someone that I loved knew this thing about me that made me different and every someone that I loved still loved me back and suddenly I wasn’t at war with myself anymore and I felt lighter and a great many things felt easier and I started to think about my future in ways that weren’t sad or scary but happy and hopeful and so now, on days like this one, when anything and everything seems possible, I’m reminded of that sad little boy who carried so much hopelessness around in his heart and I get overwhelmed for a moment as I recall the dread and the fear and the tears and the wasted time and the worry and then I take a breath and remember that because of days like today some other little boy from a town just like mine will grow up never hating a great big part of himself so much that he’s scared to tell even the people who love him most and my heart glows for that little boy and for the little boy that I was and I guess all I’m trying to say is I’m very lucky to live in a place where I can be different and gosh today was a really good day.

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5 thoughts on “Last Week’s News

  1. I, too, have 2 relatives who are gay and most wonderful young women and young man you would ever meet. Thanks Supreme Court for recognizing these wonderful human beings and eliminating some discrimination they have experienced!!

  2. “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”
    ― Nelson Mandela

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